View Full Version : Dead Diary

01-15-2014, 22:45
Тук ще описвам ежедневието си на английски.

Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm. They wanted more, cockslapped them unconcious, I had to hit the gym. Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2018 Ferrari (I got connexions) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my **** to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time. When I entered, the room scent suddently changed from sweat to wet pussy. That;s just the effect I have on hoes. Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my **** in 16 minutes, my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me. When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a ****ing umbrella. 18 years old, 44DD titties on a tight ****ing frame. I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didnt weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like mother****ing fountains. Made the **** beg for my cum, but I didnt give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out, imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didnt say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I'm sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you ***gots will do your whole life. Enjoy jacking off to stupid drawn pictures. Out.

01-15-2014, 22:53
A2/B1. Keep practicing.

01-15-2014, 23:00
Unless you are a published theoretical physicist and have earned a Master of Science and two PhDs, have an IQ of 187, and went to college at 11, research String Theory at Caltech, switched disciplines from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory and reconciled the black hole information paradox using a string network condensate approach, worked on the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations and considered a method for optimizing a 500 GeV particle detector to this end, jointly wrote a paper on supersolids to be presented at an Institute of Experimental Physics topical conference on Bose-Einstein condensates, keep a whiteboard in the living room for scientific theories containing virtual particles in quantum mechanics or series of Riemann zeta functions, then no I will not ask you any questions

01-15-2014, 23:21
A2/B1. Keep practicing.


01-16-2014, 13:54

01-16-2014, 15:04
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one

01-16-2014, 15:07
Голямо смешно.

01-16-2014, 15:35
you've got way too much free time...

01-16-2014, 15:52
you've got way too much free time...

Кака, аз настоявам да знам, защо съм бил отнесен от голямата чистка..
Ся не мога да зяпвам яката котка.. :(