Girl, you know we've been together such a long, long time
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line
You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside - it's my dick in a box
Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don't mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl, ya gotta know you're my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin' real
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
Somethin' special, girl
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box, girl