FCE Writing-и

[Chacho]

Условие:Your story must begin with: At last the weekend had arrived,and Anna was both nervous and excited.

120-180




At last the day had arrived and Jim was both nervous and excited.He was on his way to Germany for the first time after winning a ticket for the concert of his favourite band- ac/dc.
He took off at nine , but he was listening to music so loud , that he missed the change and landed in Italy instead of Germany .
At the time Jim realized, that he was in the wrong country,he turned pale and started to cry. He hadn’t got enough money to get back home and this made him sad and confused.
As the night came down, Jim whispered a prayer and fall asleep on a street bench. After an hour he was awaken by a man, pulling his hand. Firstly , Jim thought he was dreaming, but after a while he made out it was Angus – the guitarist of Ac/dc. He saved Jim’s life
The lucky boy spent 2 days with the band and when got home and told his story, everyone was stunned but also happy.

Не разбрах защо пишеш за Jim, като трябва да е за Аnna. Придържай се към стриктно към даденото начало или край.

"he missed the change" - прекачване ли е това? Ползвай думата switch вместо change.

На третия абзац, където започваш с "At the time..", по-добре го замени с when или просто го пропусни.

"Jim whispered a prayer and FELL asleep"

"made out it was Angus" - не знам дали може да се употребява така make out, но можеш да ползваш found out it was Angus или recognized Angus.



От стилистична гледна точка, пояснявай историята повече. Как са се озовали AC/DC в Италия, какво точно е направил Angus за момчето. Не е особено важно, но оценяват идейните истории. На FCE писах story и ми се падна "When Sally first met Harry.." Писах за новия съсед на Sally, как се е влюбила от пръв поглед. Сънувала го е как я спасява от кулата на дракона като рицар от бял кон. Пробудила се и не се сдържала, веднага изтичала до тях да го види, когато го заварила с друг мъж в леглото. Бяха ми дали максимума от точки на writing-а