.
Отговор в тема
Резултати от 1 до 9 от общо 9

Тема: Dead Diary

  1. #1
    Мега фен Аватара на Canis_Dirus
    Регистриран на
    Nov 2007
    Мнения
    8 459

    Dead Diary

    Тук ще описвам ежедневието си на английски.

    Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm. They wanted more, cockslapped them unconcious, I had to hit the gym. Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2018 Ferrari (I got connexions) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my **** to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time. When I entered, the room scent suddently changed from sweat to wet pussy. That;s just the effect I have on hoes. Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my **** in 16 minutes, my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me. When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a ****ing umbrella. 18 years old, 44DD titties on a tight ****ing frame. I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didnt weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like mother****ing fountains. Made the **** beg for my cum, but I didnt give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out, imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didnt say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I'm sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you ***gots will do your whole life. Enjoy jacking off to stupid drawn pictures. Out.
    Grumpy old madman

  2. #2
    The Ruler of Tides Мега фен Аватара на NaOH
    Регистриран на
    Sep 2009
    Град
    /dev/null
    Мнения
    4 682
    A2/B1. Keep practicing.

  3. #3
    Мега фен Аватара на Canis_Dirus
    Регистриран на
    Nov 2007
    Мнения
    8 459
    Unless you are a published theoretical physicist and have earned a Master of Science and two PhDs, have an IQ of 187, and went to college at 11, research String Theory at Caltech, switched disciplines from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory and reconciled the black hole information paradox using a string network condensate approach, worked on the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations and considered a method for optimizing a 500 GeV particle detector to this end, jointly wrote a paper on supersolids to be presented at an Institute of Experimental Physics topical conference on Bose-Einstein condensates, keep a whiteboard in the living room for scientific theories containing virtual particles in quantum mechanics or series of Riemann zeta functions, then no I will not ask you any questions
    Grumpy old madman

  4. #4
    Мега фен Аватара на AnarchyBoy
    Регистриран на
    May 2012
    Мнения
    11 825
    Цитирай Първоначално написано от NaOH Виж мнението
    A2/B1. Keep practicing.
    True.
    "It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes."
    Dr. Gregory House


    Before sex, you help each other to get naked, after sex you only dress yourself.
    Moral of the story: "In life no one helps you, once you're fucked.

  5. #5
    Мега фен Аватара на SonataArctica
    Регистриран на
    May 2010
    Мнения
    9 997

  6. #6
    Мега фен Аватара на Canis_Dirus
    Регистриран на
    Nov 2007
    Мнения
    8 459
    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one
    Grumpy old madman

  7. #7
    Мега фен Аватара на AnarchyBoy
    Регистриран на
    May 2012
    Мнения
    11 825
    Голямо смешно.
    "It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes."
    Dr. Gregory House


    Before sex, you help each other to get naked, after sex you only dress yourself.
    Moral of the story: "In life no one helps you, once you're fucked.

  8. #8
    Мега фен Аватара на LadyDi
    Регистриран на
    Mar 2003
    Град
    Варна
    Мнения
    15 934
    you've got way too much free time...
    This world is spinning around me
    This world is spinning without me
    And every day sends future to past
    Every breath leaves me one less to my last

  9. #9
    Мега фен Аватара на AnarchyBoy
    Регистриран на
    May 2012
    Мнения
    11 825
    Цитирай Първоначално написано от LadyDi Виж мнението
    you've got way too much free time...
    Кака, аз настоявам да знам, защо съм бил отнесен от голямата чистка..
    Ся не мога да зяпвам яката котка..
    "It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes."
    Dr. Gregory House


    Before sex, you help each other to get naked, after sex you only dress yourself.
    Moral of the story: "In life no one helps you, once you're fucked.

Правила за публикуване

  • Вие не можете да публикувате теми
  • Вие не можете да отговаряте в теми
  • Вие не можете да прикачвате файлове
  • Вие не можете да редактирате мненията си