What's the hardest part of any vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.

Why do Jews get circumcised?
Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 30% off!

A rapist, a paedophile and a catholic priest walked into a bar.
Then he sat down and ordered a drink.

My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday. So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.

What's the similarities between princess Diana and Pink Floyd?
The wall was their last big hit.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

If the camera adds ten pounds, then do African children actually exist?

What's better than winning a gold medal in the special Olympics?
Not being retarded.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.

How do you tell if a black girl's pregnant?
When she pulls out a tampon all the cotton's been picked off.

What does a Black guy do after sex?
20 years to life.